The building I live in has two elevators. One does not work and has never worked in the almost three years I’ve lived in the 70-year-old building. The other one, which does work, is a maintenance elevator. You know the kind; the ones that have the fence you pull across before you work the old fashioned brass controls. The ones that are huge inside and make you feel awkward and small, especially when you ride alone without even a piece of luggage.
I hate this elevator. I suppose I could take the stairs, but I live on the twelfth floor and its really not that awkward. More like one of those things you encounter on a daily basis that is annoying to some degree, but not a real problem. We all have these things, it is just a part of life.
The only thing that is more awkward than riding the elevator alone is riding it with a single person you don’t know. In an elevator that big, if you stand too close it is awkward for sure. Almost the equivalent of a stranger sitting next to a you in a fairly vacant theater. Why do you have to be so close to me? There are so many other seats available. But at the same time, if you stand too far away from the other person in my building’s huge elevator, they will probably think you are just as creepy. Why are they being all creepy standing in the corner way behind me? I hate this elevator.
At any rate, I had an elevator ride one night that turned out to be equally hilarious and unbelievable. It was about 3am and I was just getting home from work. I was totally tired from my job the past few days and looking forward to getting into bed and sleeping in as late as I wanted. Even after I got up, it was going to be one of those lazy days where you eat breakfast, watch TV, read the paper, and surf the internet until at least mid-afternoon. I had even bought a box of Lucky Charms, a quart of milk, and some blueberries on my way home.
I checked my mail really quick after I got into the lobby, then headed for the elevator. I dragged the fence across and after a moment or so, I was moving; although it stopped on the fourth floor for some reason. I slid the fence back, a man got in, and the box started to escalate again. “Lucky Charms. Nice choice,” the man said. “Yeah, they’re magically delicious,” I responded, too lazy to come up with an interesting response. I turned to face the man standing next to me, and I was instantly taken aback. It was Bill Murray!
“Hey… Bill Murray! What are you doing here?” I asked, quite surprised to say the least. “Eh, you know…” he responded, as if it answered the question. “I grew up watching your movies. I had seen Stripes at least 6 times before I knew anything about the Cold War. Plus Ghostbusters, Caddyshack, and What About Bob?… those are classics!” I told him. As I put out my hand to shake his, I continued, “plus your more recent movies. I mean, most guys in your situation hit a peak and then start to put out shit, but I like the stuff you do now just as much if not more.” And then for a moment I just stood there and shook my head. “I met some people earlier,” he started to explain with a mischievous smile on his face, as I realized the elevator had stopped on the tenth floor. “They invited me to this party. If you want, I’m sure you’d be welcome to come.”
To be continued.